Tuesday, June 18, 2013

New York City is a record of who I thought I was. A record that spans from my childhood to my late adolescence when I thought this was the only place in the world for me. But I know better now. I love this place, still, after everything, after everything no one else remembers, after everything everyone will always remember. I love this place but I am not this place, this place is not me, it never was, and, as usual, I mistook an image for an object, an idea for an actuality. I didn't factor in noise, attitude, sensory overload, history. What I've learned the most in the past several years is that I embody the west[ern US], and even when I'm not living in the west, I'm longing for it. There are no bungalows in New York City. There are brownstones and third floor walk ups in Brooklyn and 20 story apartment buildings with lobbies in the Upper East Side. And I love them. All those places. And I get to visit them and pretend to live a life I could never sustain, and then I get to return to my ocean, my desert, my bowl of stars & sky.

Let's do this backward:

Upper East Side dinner & a sunset after Midtown yoga.

Walked to Tribeca to pick up T from work, which was followed by dinner, beers on the fire escape, and long conversations with T & G on the floor of T's brand new, currently unfurnished apartment. I would add "beers on the fire escape" and "epically long girls night" to my List Of Things To Do In Summer.

Remembered ghosts. Remembered how I never thought this time would be like last time. Remember how I thought I'd finally never have to encounter a ghost again. Remembered how I've been wrong before. Smiled when I realized I really did get everything I wanted, it just didn't last forever.

Walked around Central Park with parents.

Gathered for surprise brunch for grandma's 80th birthday. Had a confetti art competition with mom, pops, and Tiny Brother. Had people vote. Tiny Brother won. Mon came in second. Pops and I had zero votes. Ashamed.

Slept in Brooklyn. But before that, had dinner and many many lemon drop drinks at Atlantic Grill on the Upper West Side with the whole family, which means I ate ALL the fish and oysters ever at the best seafood restaurant in the city.

Walked around the High Line, the West Village, Washington Square, Chelsea, Union Square, and Hudson River Park for hours with Tiny Brother and our cousin, E. Drank lots of fresh pressed juice. Going to add "kick it at a skate park" to my List Of Things To Do In Summer.
my tiny family
a new skyline
brother & sister

Met cousin for brunch in the West Village. Ate all the yogurt.

Got on an airplane. Flew 3,000 miles to visit this city, my first love, & my family & my friends & perfect 75 degree humidity.

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