Monday, February 25, 2013

Here's one reason I love Twitter: Damon Lindelof, writer for the television show LOST, is frequently trolling Fancy Feast, the cat food company. Here is a collection of his tweets to/about them. Enjoy...


But then I'll get fired and my cat will starve. RT @FancyFeast RT if you'd rather just stay in and curl up with your cat this Monday.

The ones that don't give a shit about catfood. RT @FancyFeast What #Oscar nominees are you rooting for?

What if my family was murdered by cats? RT @FancyFeast If you don't love my cat, you can't love me. RT if you agree!

"Why Am I So Sad And Alone?" RT @FancyFeast What book will you and your cat curl up with this weekend?

He inspires me to bury my turds in holes I have dug. RT @FancyFeast Tweet us how your cat inspires you!

We are getting shitfaced and killing mice. RT @FancyFeast What do you and your feline friend have planned for New Years?

"Jesus H. Cuddles" RT @FancyFeast Did anyone receive the joy of a new kitten? What did you name your new friend?

Even Ebert?!? RT @FancyFeast 100% of reviewers recommend Gravy Lovers Chicken Feast on our site.

IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!!! RT @FancyFeast Tweet to share how you communicate love to your cat.

I told my boss this. He fired me. RT @FancyFeast It’s National Spend Time with Your Cat Day.

My cat is in the 47%. RT @FancyFeast Everyday grooming should feel like a grand gesture. RT if your cat gets the very best care.

Devotion to what? RT @FancyFeast RT if you agree a handcrafted cat tower is an amazing way to show devotion.

Here's an idea, @FancyFeast -- Don't feed 24 cats for a week and have them fight to the death in a futuristic arena!!! #CatnipEverdeen

Cats who eat FancyFeast are in the 1%.

Cats who eat FancyFeast do blow and like Wes Anderson movies.

Not this rash. RT @FancyFeast Fancy feast makes everything better!!

Don't get me wrong, folks. I love cats. Seriously. It is FANCY FEAST that I hate.

Cats that wear monocles are assholes. Take THAT,@FancyFeast.

Okay. I'm done. But seriously, @FancyFeast, your clientele shits in a sandbox. Leave twitter to the professionals.

CATS DO NOT EAT ENTREES. THEY DO NOT EAT DESSERTS. THEY EAT CATFOOD. @FancyFeast We make appetizers!

.@FancyFeast has THIRTEEN HUNDRED FOLLOWERS. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? IT. IS. CATFOOD!!!!

I am now officially obsessed with @FancyFeast. Why? Because someone is being paid to tweet about CATFOOD.

Thank God @FancyFeast is verified because there are so GODDAMN MANY CATFOODIMPERSONATORS OUT THERE!!!

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