When I was 6 or 7, I was obsessed with the idea of buried treasure. Once, I think maybe in Connecticut, my family and I actually went to a place called Treasure Island and I insisted I'd find treasure there. They tried to explain to me why that would not happen just as I discovered a little bottle filled with colored sand underneath a bush. I proved them wrong and everyone was surprised. But I knew there'd be treasure, I just knew.
I also knew that my house back in Colorado wasn't built on any Treasure Island, so I started burying things myself to find later. I'd take an empty wipes box, throw in some matchbox cars and maybe some ribbon or some spare change, then bury it in the garden for my brother and I to dig up later. Once, I buried a film canister with some coins in it on the little path that went from the front of my house to the back. A couple months later, I attempted to dig it up. No canister. A couple years later, I remember it and tried again. No canister. I probably forgot about it by the time I was 11 or so. Then, this summer, walking around my house to the front yard, I vaguely recalled never finding the treasure. Until about a week ago, when the landscapers tore up the path on the side of my house. I noticed the destruction and wondered about my canister. Walked over to the path and there, sticking half out of the ground, was a little piece of white plastic.
The reason I can't leave Colorado is, this is my home. This is where my history lives. Only here can I find parts of myself that I've lost. How am I supposed to walk away from that when the last time I walked away, I lost everything? I know this time will be different. I mean, I understand that it will be different. But somehow that understanding isn't enough to convince me. I couldn't possibly repeat every tragedy that occurred when I walked away from this place last August. I mean, people can only die once, and you can only move to a place you've never been once. But you can get your heart broken infinitely. And I know that's not what's going to happen this time, but somehow I'm bracing for it all anyway.
Houses Winter EP release party [day 2] at the Hi-Dive last night:
Fairchildren and A. Tom Collins opened. Fairchildren has become my absolute favorite new [non-defunct] band in Denver. They were great at the UMS, but they were even better last night at the Hi-Dive. AND! they have an EP, which I purchased along with the "box set" of Houses' four seasons EPs.
There was a fair amount of insanity at the Hi-Dive last night. Fairchildren played a rich, beautiful set, then A. Tom Collins who were super energetic, as always, followed by Houses, who completely owned. It being summer and all, everyone was really hot in that tiny little bar, so a. Tom took off his pants while playing, stood on his tiny piano, and sang upside down into his mic. And later, two members of Houses removed some clothing as well. Lots of sweaty hippies/grungy hipsters all around.